Hitting Rock Bottom
What is it like Hitting Rock Bottom? It's not fun I can tell you that much. This week was my rock bottom, and let me tell you, the pain of the impact left me in more tears than smiles.
If you know me, you know that I'm a stubborn person, and I just don't like to ask for help. Prideful, I know. And I think that's part of why this week was so painful, because at every corner I realized that I needed help, and I had to give up that pride.
One of the hardest things I had to do this week was admit that I can't do everything on my own. And admitting that I was wrong. And admitting that I was sorry. Admitting your faults and problems to another person just sucks. I'm sorry, but it does.
And amidst all of this confusion and sadness, I've dealt with other confusing things, and let me tell you. I was angry. I was angry at God for letting me go through this, when I try so hard to do what I'm supposed to. I was angry at people in my life. Disappointed in myself. And I was mad at God because I didn't understand what he was trying to teach me.
So one night, when I was just confused and frustrated, I got down on my knees and prayed/yelled at God. I just told Him that I had no clue what he was trying to tell me, and I wanted to be done with it all. And while I knelt there crying, the distinct words "Ether 12" came to my mind. It was so clear, unlike literally anything that I'd ever felt. And to be honest, I didn't even know there was a chapter 12 in the book of Ether. But I stopped my prayer and pulled my scriptures out. And what would you know, I found the scripture that says "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things strong unto them."
Wow, I just sat there like, You really showed me this time God.
And I'm not telling you this for pity or sympathy. I'm simply telling you so, if you feel like you've hit rock bottom, you understand that you're not alone. AND GOD IS REAL. Even if you are mad at God, disappointed in yourself, frustrated with people in your life, God wants to hear from you. When you feel weak, when the sting of the impact from hitting rock bottom is too much to bear and all you can manage is to yell "Is anyone even there?" God will answer. I promise you that when you come to God, he will show you that your weaknesses can be made strong. You are not a lost cause. The last part of Ether 12:37 says "And because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father." And the beauty in hitting rock bottom is that the only way left to go, is up. And Christ provides a perfect foundation to build upon.
If you know me, you know that I'm a stubborn person, and I just don't like to ask for help. Prideful, I know. And I think that's part of why this week was so painful, because at every corner I realized that I needed help, and I had to give up that pride.
One of the hardest things I had to do this week was admit that I can't do everything on my own. And admitting that I was wrong. And admitting that I was sorry. Admitting your faults and problems to another person just sucks. I'm sorry, but it does.
And amidst all of this confusion and sadness, I've dealt with other confusing things, and let me tell you. I was angry. I was angry at God for letting me go through this, when I try so hard to do what I'm supposed to. I was angry at people in my life. Disappointed in myself. And I was mad at God because I didn't understand what he was trying to teach me.
So one night, when I was just confused and frustrated, I got down on my knees and prayed/yelled at God. I just told Him that I had no clue what he was trying to tell me, and I wanted to be done with it all. And while I knelt there crying, the distinct words "Ether 12" came to my mind. It was so clear, unlike literally anything that I'd ever felt. And to be honest, I didn't even know there was a chapter 12 in the book of Ether. But I stopped my prayer and pulled my scriptures out. And what would you know, I found the scripture that says "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things strong unto them."
Wow, I just sat there like, You really showed me this time God.
And I'm not telling you this for pity or sympathy. I'm simply telling you so, if you feel like you've hit rock bottom, you understand that you're not alone. AND GOD IS REAL. Even if you are mad at God, disappointed in yourself, frustrated with people in your life, God wants to hear from you. When you feel weak, when the sting of the impact from hitting rock bottom is too much to bear and all you can manage is to yell "Is anyone even there?" God will answer. I promise you that when you come to God, he will show you that your weaknesses can be made strong. You are not a lost cause. The last part of Ether 12:37 says "And because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father." And the beauty in hitting rock bottom is that the only way left to go, is up. And Christ provides a perfect foundation to build upon.
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